I am a native in this world And think in it as a native thinks

Thursday, May 14, 2020

Life in the time of coronavirus

One of those flashes of beauty that I appreciate so much these days: tulips on a sunny sidewalk in Hell's Kitchen. Yesterday a mockingbird appeared on the antenna on the building across the back yard and sang while I had breakfast; I haven't seen a mockingbird outside the park for many years and it was a moment of pure joy.

Yesterday I had a ham sandwich on sourdough and potato chips for lunch, and it felt like a luxurious dinner in a 5-star restaurant. Every bite was scrumptious. I'd been craving potato chips, just plain potato chips, for a few weeks now and I finally gave in and bought a bag.  I can't remember the last time something tasted so delicious. And it was just potato chips!

Maybe it's that my nerves have occasionally been stretched so far during these long anxious weeks that the slightest nudge sets them twanging, but I am oversensitive to everything these days. I'm enchanted by the play of light over the trees outside my window. I cry when I hear old pop songs. I moan with pleasure over the salty crunch of a mouthful of potato chips.

I don't know how I'll ever regrow a skin thick enough to allow me to resume anything like a normal life again.

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